Some thoughts on Misunderstandings and Pain.
A while back I had a misunderstanding with a certain person. “-So what?”, you might say. Well… this rarely happens to me, and I take every opportunity I can to learn how to communicate better. It truly blew my mind when I realized how gravely 2 people can misunderstand each other, even when they do speak the same language.
Of course I felt that I was speaking from my heart and that I didn’t say anything mean or hurtful, but the other person heard and felt differently. The truth is no one is right or wrong, we all perceive the world differently depending on how we feel and where we are in life. I consider myself to be a happy person, some might say that I view the world through pink glasses and they might be right :). It’s not that I am blind to misery and pain, believe me I have been there, It’s just that I have chosen to focus on the things I feel will make a change in this world and in myself. I have worked on helping, inspiring and uplifting people for most of my life, and I’m used to meeting people who are at different stages in their life. This misunderstanding reminded me of all that I have learned over the years, and how important it is “to practice what you preach”. I’m so grateful that this happened, even though I prefer to grow through love, sometimes discord and conflict can bring you a clear perspective.
I want to share some tips with you about dealing with people in pain. I hope that this might help you in your relationships (with others and with yourself).
1. Sometimes helping someone in pain means letting them be angry with you.
So if they want to blame you for things that you haven’t done, let them, remember that anger is way better than despair.
2. It might be hard to listen to accusations that aren’t true to you, but stay centered and remember to breathe. Take a moment and try to see the situation from the other persons perspective.
3. Always make an effort to be as clear as you can in your communication with someone in pain. Overexplaining might be necessary.
4. If you are hurt by someone, take a minute and ask yourself how you would like this situation to play out. Do you want to win an argument? If yes, ask yourself why. Will this take the pain away from you and/or the other person?
5. Sometimes It might be good to apologize, even if you feel that you haven’t done anything wrong. Have in mind that there is no reasoning with pain, the only thing that can heal it is LOVE. By apologizing you are showing this person unconditional love. We all deserve that.
6. When trying to help someone you might start taking on and experiencing their pain, don’t! Their pain is their own, remember you can’t help anyone if you don’t feel good yourself.
7. Self love and taking responsibility for our own feelings instead of blaming our surroundings is the only way we can truly heal.
So if you want to help someone, take care of your inner child and BE THE LOVE you want to see in the world.
Thank you for your love and for transforming your pain.
Ps. here is a tune that helps me realize how much I can change in my experience and that I don’t have any enemies.